But once I was inside the club it was a level playing field, where you were not judged by what kind of car you drive. I planted myself at the bar and right away I was approached by a woman. I asked if I could buy her a Vanilla Stoli and Diet Coke, to which she replied, "No, I'll just take the money instead." She got nothing. Often in life when things aren't going your way, lady luck will side with you. From the other side of the club I could see a beautiful woman smiling at me. I cut through the crowd and introduced myself. She and I engaged in some deep conversation, where she told me what she thought of me; how intelligent and wonderful she thought I was. Dudes, she even went so far as to tell me she could see me in her future! We felt it would be better to talk somewhere a little quieter so we made our way out of the club.
I gave my claim ticket to the valet and told him to make it quick, after all here I was standing with the girl who I might just spend the rest of my life with and I wouldn't want her to catch a cold standing in the chilly night air. And then it happened. It sounded like a series of gunshots in the distance but it wasn't that. It was a sound that I knew all too well-my car. It took three valets to get my car to me: one to steer and two to push. I tipped each of them a dollar for their work and just then the girl of my dreams tells me that she has her standards and that my car is far below her requirements. "But what do you mean?" "I only date a guy if he drives an exotic luxury car, not something from a crash-up derby." And just as quick as she came into my life, she vanished.
I was reeling but I picked my pride up off of the asphalt and pushed through the crowd that had gathered around my waiting vehicle. After a hard day of field research I can safely say that having a shitty car isn't an asset to claim when talking to a girl. As I drove away from the club I consoled myself with the thought that somewhere there is a girl who places herself above material things. I could feel the breeze whistling through the cracks in the windshield, the suspension wobbling under my toes and someone shouting after me, "Hey! You shouldn't steal from old ladies!"
Tuner's Top spots for meeting girls
Kinko's Copies
strip Club
grocery Store
Starbucks your
sister's slumber party
weddings
importtuner.com message board
car show parking lots
your mom's work
adult video store
12-step meetings
hang out with your dad
"Unfortunately, our four-wheeled weapon of choice never lasted long enough to make it the extra five miles or so to our photo location. Our metal model pictured was a last minute stand in."
Tuner's Tips for a Cost effective Dinner
coupons
online dating
"going dutch"
supersize it
happy hour
buffet with one plate
drink in parking lot
date white trash
dine-and-dash
forget wallet
eat where your friends work
invite her parents
bring your own food
keep the condiments
date supermodels