When I turned the ripe old age of-pause, for a moment of silence-30, a stark realization hit me. Well, several really, but all of them centered around one thing: Personal life goals. Specifically, me not hitting them, nor the likelihood of any of them coming to fruition. Hooking up with Jessica Alba? More likely to get hooked up to an IV. Flying into outer space? Unless Southwest's itinerary to Vegas entails crossing the Karman Line, it is very doubtful.
But as a car guy, there was one bitter pill harder to swallow than any untapped feminine or astrodynamic virtue: I am not going to be a race car driver. Like Kobe never picking up a basketball, I was actually concerned that I was letting my untapped god-given abilities to drive go to waste. Delusions of grandeur? I had it supersized. It was only after my first on-track experience that my world came crashing down. I was like the guy in The Crying Game, only a lot less sausagey and a whole lot more spinning out.
Yet, despite the lack of natural skills, I trudged on. With sheer will and determination I believed that one day I would become great. Or at the very least, be in the quicker half of a run group during track days. Practice would be my newfound friend. But as it so happens, practice runs in the same clique as time, and time unfortunately, is a mortal enemy of work. Any dreams of living the good life of a race car driver have long since been dashed and I have to rely on technologically advanced cars like the new '08 Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution X to make me feel like half a man around the road course.
Before you Evo purists go on about the lack of a 4G63 in the X, a word of caution: Move on. Yes, the 4G is tried and true and makes a boatload of power, but it's 20 years old. The reinforced aluminum 2.0L 4B11 in the new Evo is lighter than the previous motor and now utilizes dual, as in intake and exhaust, MIVEC variable valve timing. A timing chain replaces the belt and the new powerplant features a weight-saving direct-acting valvetrain in lieu of rocker arms. At stock boost, the turbocharged 4B11 puts out 291 hp (at 6,500 rpm) and 300 lb-ft of torque (at 4,400 rpm), an increase of 5 hp and 11 lb-ft of torque over the IX.
Available in a five-speed manual in the GSR trim or an automated manual six speed Twin-Clutch Sportronic Shift Transmission (TC-SST) in the MR, it is the latter of the two that makes even the feeblest of drivers, cough, me, cough, feel like Superman. The Super-All Wheel Control (S-AWC) including Active Center Differential (ACD), Active Yaw Control (AYC), Active Stability Control (ASC) and Sport ABS brakes is the acronym-laden, technological equivalent of Clark Kent tossing his glasses and three-piece suit. You become an instant track superhero,clobbering apexes like they were two-bit crooks.
Although heavier than the Evo IX; a wider track, longer wheelbase and stiffer chassis, combined with Bilstein shocks, Eibach springs, two-piece brake rotors, and forged BBS wheels on the MR, and you'll swear that you could leap tall buildings in a single bound-or at the very least leap the competition. With three different modes (Normal, Sport and S-Sport), flip the automatic Twin-Clutch to Ssport mode and it behaves redline happy, holding it in gear during open throttleand rev-match downshifts during deceleration. For control freaks, the MR offers fixed magnesium shifter paddles, but I found the transmission to behave so precise that you'd think you were a Jedi blipping gears with your mind.