All I knew was that she was going to be in Playboy sometime soon; I had never met or talked to her, or even seen a picture of her. However, since my membership to the mag's site was due to expire, I was looking forward to experiencing sensory overload upon meeting her. I mentioned the interview to a couple of people and they gave me the standard warning: "Some of them are totally air-brushed and she's probably butt-ugly." I didn't listen to them.
As I sat and waited for the interview hour, rumors began to slowly trickle over from the studio. Whispers of "Dude, she's hot!" passed from one male to another. By the time the whispers got to me I heard you had to cover your ears and should never look directly at her-her voice and beauty would turn the strongest of men into a sniveling, knuckle-dragging, "look-at-the-sunset" wuss. She's got nothing on me-oh, yeah? She was going to be mine for an hour, but mine nonetheless. I got to the studio, flung the door open and there she was, pouting into the camera, on her knees, throwing back her shoulders, tugging on her top and forcing her "naturals" center stage. My timing was perfect. I yelled, "Work it Ashley!" I should of been more subtle. I mop up my pool of drool and begin....
2NR: So where are you originally from?AP: Florida. The west side, the Gulf side.
2NR: Were you closer to Mississippi?
AP: Yeah, it's very Southern over there: cornbread, fried chicken.
2NR: Wow, you could of been a fatty.
AP: A fat girl? I used to eat a lot. But now I'm into this whole California health kick.
2NR: You've only been out here 3 months.
AP: 9 months.
2NR: You're 18 years old, you don't need to be on a health kick.
AP: 19 years old. And it's not like I'm on a tomato-only diet. I just like to eat more natural foods. I'll have a burrito now and then. I'm not crazy about it, I just like to watch what I eat.
2NR: What was your favorite food out there?
AP: Pizza, I love pizza.
2NR: And out here?
AP: It's kind of changed. I love steak. I can't get enough of it.
2NR: They have steak there, and don't they have more cows there? So, what's the difference between there and here?
AP: There are so many differences. The scenery. The mountains are breathtaking. Over there it's flat, one big sandbar. The weather. You would die it's so humid. I can see why people want to move out here. Although, the people have a kick back Southern-hospitality type attitude.
2NR: Over here we're a little rude?
AP: Depends on where you're at in L.A.
2NR: You're from Irvine; there are no rude people there.
AP: Yeah, except they can't drive. It's the slow driving that makes me crazy. Over here it's more like a rat race. Really fast-paced.
2NR: How was Connecticut?
AP: It was a small town, rolling hills, green grass. It's a New England thing.
2NR: So were you living with a "well-off" family?
AP: They didn't have to worry too much. We lived on 10 acres of land.
2NR: Awww, a little rich kid. Did you have a pony?
AP: I had a bike!
2NR: Was this bike connected to like, say, a butler? Were you actually riding the bike or did you put your feet up on the handlebars while Jeeves pulled you along?
AP: No! It was nice. It was a small town where you knew your neighbors. Didn't have to lock your doors. You could leave your windows open and car unlocked.
2NR: Do you do anything now that you did back in Connecticut? Car thieves would like to know.
AP: I still sing. I sing opera and play the piano.