Explains it. Ever been tempted to take one of your kids to Vegas and tear it up on the Blackjack table?
There was this one boy who loved to play cards. I was like, `Hey, can I take you to Vegas and win some money?' He's like, `Yeah, let's go!' I'm already decent at Blackjack, so together we would've taken over!
I would've milked that boy for his entire card counting worth! Kidding. I think. Can I borrow him for a day? Or two? How about a week?
If it gets me to Vegas, yeah, sure! [laughs]
I am so going to get hate mail from the autistic community.
[laughs] We're not saying anything bad... I have mad love for my kids and I try to do anything to help.
Yeah totally. We could take them to Circus Circus. Plus, I would totally cut them in on the profits. It'll be like our own charity....
Sounds like a plan!
Butter, gambling... Any other hobbies?
I like to bowl, read sometimes, do puzzles, try and design clothes on paper... [laughs] I like to people watch and make fun of them.
Let me guess: autistic kids?
No! Just random people... like if you're sitting in the park and you see what people do when they think no one is looking... like picking their nose or butt.
As if you don't pick your nose or butt!
[laughs] I don't!
Hey liar, your pants are totally on fire!
Girls don't do that kind of stuff!
Speaking of that `stuff', during the photo shoot, your mom and I had an interesting conversation...
[laughs] Oh yeah? About what?
Something about you and farting...
[laughs] What? That I don't? Like I said, girls don't do that stuff, nor do they go number two.
Of course, because everyone knows that females live off of photosynthesis.
Yep!
You are officially a dork.
Yes I am! I love being a dork. If you think you're too cool to be a dork then something is wrong with you.
Prove your dork-dom: share some stories.
Hmm... okay. You know how you can buff out scratches on your car? Well, I once tried to buff out scratches on my phone. Not sure if that was a dorky moment or a blonde one.
[laughs] Jessica Simpson would be proud.
Oh, I once caught a microwave on fire!
Explain.
Well, I was working at one of my old jobs and I had to be there pretty early, so I brought my coffee in a mug to heat up when I got there. I put my mug in the microwave and I'm all like `la la la' and all of a sudden... poof! I was like, `Oh my god!' and took it out. Luckily, it wasn't a big fire... or I would've gotten fired. [laughs] Get it? Fire... fired!
Anyway, my boss came over and was like, `Joanna you can't put that in the microwave!' I was like why? She's all, `It's aluminum. Read the bottom!' I looked, and it said `Not Microwavable', which by the way, is the worst place to put a warning label. Who reads the bottom of mugs?
I've had one of those moments as a kid... except it was with tin foil. And instead of coffee, it was a very un-tasty AM/PM minimart hot dog. It was like a lightning storm. Regardless, you are very much dork approved! Any other ones?
Well, there was this thing four years ago, but I wasn't a kid... so it's more embarrassing! [laughs] That's all for now... I don't want people to think I'm not nearly as super cool as I look! [laughs]
If I've heard correct, you're recently single?
Yes, it's been like a month or two.
Rad. So what kind of guys are you into?
Tall, for one! I like guys with a bad-ass image but a major softy on the inside... confident; not cocky! I'm very sensitive and cry over everything, so I need to make sure he's not an asshole. I'm not biased either--I like all types of races. My type is men!
EOE: Equal opportunity employer.
Exactly!
Double rad. Describe what would be a perfect first date?
Hmm... a lovely candlelight dinner and then a walk on the beach. Afterwards, watching the waves while we have a picnic dessert and look at the stars... sounds so cheesy, huh? Or, just Disneyland!
I've got better: You, the autistic kid and me, and a road trip to Vegas! With a case of mantequilla.
[laughs] Sounds good!