Interview By Carter Jung
You can tell a lot about a person by the profession they pursue. Lawyers? Slimy leeches who feed off the suffering of others. Oddly enough, their kind gravitate towards owning/driving Nazi sleds. Accountants? Meticulous people who are very much into routine. Their idea of a good time is counting beans. Editors? Well, I don't even want to go there...
Then, there are professions that require those with skill sets of a different kind; altruistic natures and hearts of the big variety. Teachers, counselors and nurses are fields I couldn't even begin to fathom. Patience is but a virtue and there isn't enough money in world for me to put up with the stuff they have to--hence the reason I get paid peanuts and work in the pro-bono world of editorial.
What about a person who works with the autistic; what does it say about them? For starters, a patience threshold deeper than the Mariana Trench is a must--a caring soul to the likes of Mother Teresa, a hefty plus. Now, what if the person who walks that path also happens to be a model? A smoking hot one, at that? I'd say you just found yourself a keeper.
Working towards her degree as a clinical social worker, Joanna Mata works with autistic children--surprising, considering she's a former championship-winning cheerleader-turned coach. Of Mexican heritage, although Ms. Mata no habla Espanol worth a damn, she does know how to say mantequilla, and better yet, how to use it. Sitting down with the petite 5'2" beauty after a long day's shift, we discuss, in great detail, why her tushy is better than Kim Kardashian's, how you too can turn your microwave into an instant bonfire, her semi-diabolical plan to beat the house in Vegas, and more importantly, what it takes to get with her. One word of caution: the line starts behind me.
Ready for your interrogation?
You make it sound scary... like something with guns.
That's just the Long Beach in you talking...
[laughs] I know... I may be short, but I can still drop kick someone. [laughs]
It's all the years of kung fu training...
[laughs] That's right!
That, and your black belt in cheerleading
[laughs] Hell yeah! I'll totally kick anyone's ass in cheerleading! I'm usually the one on top, flying through the air.
I'm sure you are. Do you have a cheerleading special move?
Yeah, but if I tell you, I'd have to kill you. [laughs]
Does it involve using your pom poms like nunchuks?
[laughs] Something like that. Maybe I'll show you one of these days, if you're lucky!
I could most definitely do with getting lucky. How long have you been cheerleading?
For about eight years. I also coached the past three years with my old coach for her All Star team.
When you mean All Star, are you talking "spirit fingers", Bring it On-type competition... er, not that I would know. Not like I saw the movie or anything...
[laughs] That's probably your favorite movie! I bet you could repeat the movie word for word! [laughs] But yeah, that's what I mean by All Star! It was pretty exciting!
If watching it nine times means that it's my favorite movie, then yes, I'm guilty. And All Star does sound exciting. Are you talking huge competition?
I knew it! [laughs] Yes, huge. They usually last two or three days, and are the best cause they're usually out of state, which means vacation! Woohoo! When I cheered in high school, we got to go to Hawaii. How cool is that? Even cooler was that we won!
You won? So, you mean to tell me this entire time, we've been interviewing the Kirsten Dunst of the modeling world!
Except for the blonde thing and the fact that we won, yes! [laughs]
Do you have any plans to pursue your cheering abilities?
Yes, of course! I'd like to be a Laker girl someday... but I think I'll try out to be a San Diego Charger girl first, to get some experience! I was going to try out last year but I got scared... those girls know their stuff, so I have to make sure that I'm on point!
By Carter Jung
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