That'll be great: "Oh hey mom, so I'm being interviewed by this weird Korean dude and he wants me to curse in Korean...."
She would say, "Katy, I cannot bereive you! Dats teddiber." [laughs] Don't put that in, by the way! I don't want my mom to know I make fun of her accent.
Don't worry, she sounds "exact-ree rike" my mom...
[Phone rings] Can you hang on while I get this phone call? I'll be quick! [fifteen seconds later] Do you like my poo brown phone?
It's awesome. Bowel inspiring.
Do you have to go? I can hang on if you would like? [laughs]
Or we could just move this interview into the restroom! That would have to set some sort of precedent. A gross one, but a precedent nonetheless.
That would be fun! Pooping and chatting. I guess that's why there are phones in hotel bathrooms.
I've always wondered about those toilet phones...
Me too!
Like, why would you want to be talking to anyone on the shitter: "Hey Bob, the weather *FART* is great over here. Really windy."
I like to play my Nintendo DS while I poo. But don't tell anyone I do that because I like to tell guys I'm an alien and I don't poo.
[laughs] What is it with girls and their so-called inability to poo? It's a recurring theme-slash-lie with chicks. They want to will themselves not to poop, fart or burp.
Trust me--when it's just us girls, we talk about it quite often. That's a girl secret. [laughs] I'm not giving you anymore of our secrets!
More!
No way! That would be breaking the chick code of honor.
Chick code of honor? Like girls pooping, it doesn't exist!
You know you have a dude code of honor!
We do, like, if your friend should break up with his girl, that ex is forever off limits.
Forever, ever?
Unless it's been at least two years and you happen to randomly bump into her. And that's only if you have written or oral consent from your friend, first.
[laughs] I love it!
Females on the other hand, will date their quote-unquote girls' exes all the time!
Never!
So you've never dated any of your friends' exes?
Not this girl! Guys will come and go, your girls will always be there for you!
OK, have any of said girls dated your exes?
No, can't say that I've had that pleasure.
You're lucky. Chicks be scandalous.
Yes, I know this. My dad always said when I get to be his age, I will be able to count the number of friends on one hand.
Indeed, true friends are hard to find. Switching gears, what do you do for fun?
Yoga, watching movies, playing poker, and vintage and eBay shopping.
What's the most random thing you ever purchased on eBay?
Hmm... a set of smiling donkey salt and pepper shakers is probably the most random and weird thing I ever bought. Before you ask, I don't know why I bought them. They were cute!
So you actually typed in the eBay Search box "Smiling Donkey Salt Shaker"?
I typed "vintage salt and pepper shakers" and there they were, smiling at me. [laughs]
I don't know about used food containers. Buying vintage posters or lamps, yes. Grimy salt and pepper shakers, no.
Yeah, but they were smiling! Plus, I could tell they needed a home--it's like when you go to a pet store and the puppy just picks you.
Note to self: Smiling asses do warm the souls of hotties. Going back to your hobbies, you play poker?
Yes! I also deal Texas Hold `Em at charity events and tournaments.
Are you good?
Yes, I try to stick to playing it on my Nintendo DS though--I know, very Asian--and I like to put my hoodie and sunglasses on and go to a random casino every once in a while. It's so much fun.
You play video games?
Yes!
You are indeed Asian!
I love fighting games and Mario Brothers. Super Princess Peach, too!
Princess Peach has her own game?
Of course she does! She is Princess Peach!
Word? Here I thought she was only Mario's heina.
She's moved on. She's an independent woman!