Zero? So are you like the 20-year old virgin?
Sounds way hotter than the 40-year old virgin. I think I would fulfill many a man's dream by saying, "yes." But let's just say, I haven't been much of a relationship person. I'll leave the rest up to your pervo-now drooling imaginations.
It's running wilder than a feral wolverine. Why haven't you had a boyfriend? Haven't met the right man?
Pretty much, or more so because I have met someone but it's just my luck he doesn't live anywhere near me--it's so frustrating because for once, I feel like we had a connection. I'll have to become rich and famous to pay my way to visit often. Sugar mama in the making.
So it wasn't just me! Don't worry; we're only 3,000 miles apart. Plus, my cell phone has free nationwide long distance.
[Awkward silence]
Um, I was totally kidding... unless you're not.
[More awkward silence]
OK, so enough about us, what would a guy need to qualify to be your "first"?
I'm really all about the connection. It's like when you meet that person, there's just that "wow" factor, as if something outer-worldly just happened. They have to be on my level as far as thinking goes and be able to catch my drift, you know? Hell, if they knew how to drift, that'd be friggin' sweet, too. It's not all about the looks, either. In fact, if he were good looking, I'd rather him not care too much about it. He's got to be confident and love music--if he plays, it's a plus. He also has to be down to earth. [laughs] I'm just ridiculously picky. I know what I want.
You mentioned drifting. Is that something you're into?
I love drifting and I love fast cars. It's exciting watching a car go fast and turn last minute with tires smoking. I would love to learn how to drift. All I need is someone to teach me.
I hear that you're on hotforflix.com--what is that? A porn site?
Porn site? You wish.
Drats! So, what is it?
The site does have hot girls, including me as the main host, but it's for honest movie reviews. I'm also one of the executive producers of the site. Hotforflix is where members can upload their videos for a chance to be "a star"--as in, once we reach a million members we'll give out $10,000 to the best original video as voted on by the members . . . and I'll send you my sex tape!
Double drats!
[laughs] All kidding aside, the $10K is a real deal, though. It's a really cool and fun interactive place to check out. In the future, I hope to grow it into a YouTube/American Idol hybrid.
Were you into movies before the site?
Didn't I just say I'm the Executive Producer of the site? Really though, I love movies and if anyone out there, ahem, directors, wants to use me as an actress, I'll be more than happy to be your muse.
Nice plug. Must have missed the "Place Your Business Here" sign.
[laughs]
What's your favorite flick of all time?
Pulp fuckin' Fiction. Best movie, ever.
Good choice! Worst film?
Catwoman. Yeah, Halle Berry is hot shit in it, but I don't even want to talk about it. Me was in ow after watching it. Corny, I know, but not worse than the movie.
You get 10 points for the awesome use of pun/animal onomatopoeia. What actor gets you all steamy?
Johnny Depp. I know, I'm being such a typical girl, but he's awesome on screen. Captain Jack Sparrow really turned me on. Hot, hot, hot!
How about an actress that gets you all hot and bothered?
Uma Thurman. Hotter than hell.
If you were to make a movie about your life, what kind would it be--drama, comedy, action, etc?
It would be a comedic-action movie. I love the fast-paced badass vibe that action movies give, and the comedic portion would be dedicated to my everyday humor. I'm a silly, goofy, dorky person, and by dork, I'm talking major "whale penis."
Huh? How'd you know? Should've worn looser pants. Kidding. Maybe. If you were to pick an actress to play you in your movie, who would it be?
Myself. Who could play me better than me? It's genius.