I'm not a big fan of fusion food, particularly Asian. In my opinion, cuisine should stay Oriental or European, not both. By mixing cultures, you end up with food that's funky tasting, about as authentic as a Luis Vuitton bag from Hong Kong, and taste buds more confused than Ryan Seacrest after a private screening of Milk. Take fusion pasta--sorry, demented chef who thought that was clever: Asians have noodles, Italians have pasta. Just because you throw bamboo dcor in a pseudo-trendy restaurant and hand out fortune cookies at the end of the meal, doesn't mean soy sauce and fettuccine go together. I mean, I really like Kimchee, but you won't see me smothering it like sauerkraut on a bratwurst. That's like playing food god--an evil, cultural-line-crossing one at that.
But the anti-cross pollination ends with food. People on the other hand, I'm all for. Hapas--half White and half Asian--make for some of the sexiest humans on the planet. One merely needs to Google Nicole Scherzinger, Vanessa Hudgens, or Olivia Munn. They're all hapas and all hotter than nuclear fusion. Want another? What about Christina Ashleigh? Half Korean and half a-whole-bunch-of-other-stuff, she's an exotic culmination that only comes with the mixing of two cultures--an amazing amalgam that proves homogenous homo sapiens are comparatively ho-hum. Hailing from Hotlanta, GA, after one glance at the hybrid beauty, we knew we had to fly Christina into our studio in L.A. It's a good thing too, because for airfare and lunch, we got Christina to spill the beans on where you can find hot videos of her for free on the Internet, how you can be her first-ever boyfriend, whale penis, and how she almost got me to sleep with her. Seriously.
You have an unusual Myspace page name (myspace.com/pockysticks). Explain.
Well, you have to remember, I signed up back when I was like, 15. When I was creating an account, I was munching on one of my all time favorite candy food items: Pocky Sticks! To hell with cool names, I'm one of those "right here, right now" kind of people. So, long story short, "Munch, munch...mmm Pocky." End of story. [laughs]
Thin, phallic-shaped Japanese crackers dipped in choclatey goodness? Yum! Do you like other Asian food?
Are you kidding? I'm pretty much half junk food, half Korean. It's what keeps the sheer hotness going. [laughs]
Do you indulge your Eastern half and eat Korean food?
Uh, yeah. Like that really stinky, gross-smelling stuff my friends love to make fun of? Kimchee? That shit is good! I'll eat it straight up; don't even need rice.
Gangster. Can you cook?
I hate cooking. Sorry guys. I'd rather eat it raw. I'm so Asian, right? But I do make a ridiculously good salad--gourmet style with all the trimmings and my homemade dressing: a signature honey balsamic. Best damn salad you'll ever eat, guaranteed.
Salad? Thank you, but I'll pass. Can you speak any other languages?
Kinda, but not really. I took some French and visited France because of my French-Canadian heritage, so I know just enough to get around. Vouslez vous coucher avec moi ce soi.
Of course! But not till after we're done with the interview. Teach me something else naughty in French...
Escargot. Sounds sexy. Would you like me to whisper that in your ear?
Buttery land snails? Talk about mood killer. You say that you moved around a lot? Why?
I grew up as an Army brat... you can say that I was born to be a badass! [laughs]
How strict was your father, growing up?
Pretty strict, but I wouldn't be who I am today if it wasn't for him. I look up to my father a lot--I love him. Hooah!
Was it hard having boyfriends with an Army dad?
That's the one question I dread because it requires further "interrogative" questioning, like the one you're about to ask. But before we go there, to answer your question, I've had zero.
By Carter Jung
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