LaCie Slim Combo CD-RW
Do your part to contribute to music and movie piracy by picking up these CDR/DVD drives designed by Porsche. The metal case means you can use the edge to open beer bottles, use it as a booster seat for your nephew, stabilize your wobbly IKEA furniture, slow cook hash browns or for something durable when the FBI comes after you for pirating CDRs to the Japanese. www.LaCie.com
Sony PC-105 MiniDV Handycam Camcorder
Camcorders aren't anything new, and neither is pornography. Both have been around since the eighties and look like they might be something you should think about investing in. Remember when they were huge and you had to lug them on your shoulder like a continental solider. Remember though kids, making your own porn will get you as far as recording yourself stealing cars. Eventually someone is going to find the tape and hate you. www.sony.com
Birkenstocks
The staff of 2NR hates hippies. As a rule, every month each staffer must uproot three trees in a nature preserve, consume two dozen beverages in Styrofoam cups, empty the contents of their ashtrays into the ocean and shoot a Bald Eagle. While the folks at Birkenstock might be a little more Eco-friendly than 2NR, we're hyped on these kicks. www.Birkenstocks.com/USA/
DaKine Backpacks
Backpacks, like it or not, are the male version of a purse. DaKine makes some of the most durable and modular bags around. You'll be able to keep your books, magazines, computer and a change of clothes ready for a late night "study" session with that girl you've been scoping in biology class. www.dakine.com
Creative NOMAD(r) MuVo
In the early nineties I sold enough candy bars to nave neighbors that I was able to buy the O.G. yellow Sony Walkman. I was so hyped because I thought it was sleek and cool looking. In retrospect it was 5 lbs and about the size of a decent laptop computer. MP3 players have finally made portable music a functional reality. The MuVo is a prime example; at about the size of a cigarette lighter with 12 hours of continuous play you'll be able to listen to music or transfer data with ease. www.nomadworld.com
Creative iTrigue Speakers
White speakers let people know you are a hyper-clean person. If you like your work area sterile enough to perform open heart surgery, the iTrigue L3450 is for you. Its sleek design lets people know not to piss on your toilet seat, to wash their hands and that you are going to notice if they "borrow" a CD from your collection. Bring it inside your hyperbolic chamber to relax after killing the germs on your hands with bleach, worrying about "bugs" and talking to yourself while you rock back and forth in the fetal position.
Sony Ericsson T610
The next time I pull behind someone in an SUV with huge rims in the fastlane doing fifty talking on a cell phone, I am going to follow them home and steal their car. Sure that might be a little harsh, but I'm getting sick of that shit every morning. Or if I want to, I can call them from my dope Ericsson phone (that comes with a hands-free headset) to tell them to move over because I'm late for work again.www.sonyericsson.com
Bowling Balls
Why are you looking at my balls?