Creative Labs Webcam NX Ultra
Webcams are the way of the future. Some day you'll be able to have conversations with people on tiny little phones while they walk around in supermarkets. Next stop: flying cars and ovens that will cook crappy tasting burritos in less than a minute.
Sony DSC-F828 8MP Digital Camera w/7x Optical Zoom
UFOs are no joke. It has been proven time after time that they exist, and the proof is always a photo. The problem being of course that the image quality is always terrible. This issue is exactly why Sony has released their 7x optical zoom camera, commonly known by its codename: You-are-crazy-that-was-just-a -weather-balloon.
Tiffany's Bracelet.
Cheating is costly. Screw your moral responsibility and the fact that you are probably spreading nasty STDs to the girl you are supposed to be in love with. At the end of the day you are going to have to drop a couple hundred bucks to make the guilt go away. On a side note, she isn't falling for it-she is actually having sex with your homie, but likes the jewelry you keep buying anyway.
Sharp VLZ3U Mined Camcorder
Camcorders are good for many things, one being the ability to make documentary films. My film is about the struggles of my neighbors as they try to make me stop playing music really loudly at 4am. It isn't that I originally started to play music, but I just thought it would be funny to film.
Night Owl NOTG1 1x Night Vision Goggles with I/R Illuminator
It's time to take your little obsession with your neighbors to the next level. These night vision goggles are just like the ones worn in combat, which makes them perfect for home use, just like your AK-47 and all the other shit you bought to make the pain of being a wuss be that much easier.
Texas Chainsaw Movies
With Valentine's Day come and gone, a lot of people have been emailing us asking how to put the love back in their relationships. Our answer time after time is horror movies; the more violent and gory, the better. There are few things that girls love more than sexy co-eds being cut to pieces by psycho killers yielding power tools. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is good, but the star-power makes it golden, look for Dennis Hopper in the later films.
Motorola V300 Phone (T-Mobile)
Motorola makes good products, but it is a little-known fact that in the early eighties they made a horrible automobile. For two years they produced the Boomerang, a three-cylinder family sedan, which sold well in Norway and Italy. Although the car was an engineering nightmare, it did pave the way for the Peugeot's success in America.
Adidas Marathon 80
My friend from high school is an idiot. He has always worn stupid shoes, not that he did it on purpose. He just didn't give a shit. Last week when I saw him he made a crack at my dunks because they are played out, and suddenly he is all about kicks like he's been on it since forever. Mr. Limited Edition, Limited Release told me about these Adidas, I guess they are kind of cool.