Vaio Notebook VGN-X505
Why do people like monster trucks? Every day I get stuck on the freeway behind some joker in a huge pickup truck with off-road equipment that's only used to find parking at the river. Maybe these guys were beat as children and, like cops, are just scared little boys. Vaio notebooks are cool because they are small and carry a big stick.
Itunes 4.5
There are certain things you can use to judge a person that are exact barometers of their character. If you ever have your doubts about a person, check their itunes playlist-to much Morrissey means you might want to bail. The new iTunes has the "Party Shuffle" feature, which, although it's just a fancy name for "random," it mixes your entire library into a two-week jam.
Tascam TT-M1 Scratch Controller
The Tascam TT-M1 turns any turntable into a CD/MP3 scratcher, but allows you to use the controls like you were mixing with vinyl. This is a modern world.
Sony DCR_TRV460
You are a goddamn geek. If you think I am lying, then take the Sony TRV460 and record yourself for an entire day, then watch how many stupid things come out of your mouth. Turns out you do pick your nose, flounder with girls and talk to yourself in the car. For extra fun mount a camera to your back so you can see who gives you the bird every time you turn around.
2K Shirts
Everyone was raised in a broken home, but you should have had an uncle or someone tell you that you should wear an undershirt; nobody wants to see your chest hair hommie. When in doubt, wear one at all times. 2K makes dope shirts to help you out.
Sony Psyc NetMD Walkman
I don't wear headphones because I like music, it's actually because I have massive ears. My head looks like two tacos stuck on a watermelon. Wearing a walkman for ten hours a day is part of my treatment to lessen the amount my ears protrude. Luckily Sony makes a quality walkman so I can enjoy some music and try to ignore people calling me Wingnut.