I Brake For Taco Bells
I was on the freeway last week participating in some "Nissan Playfulness." As my opponent and I slalomed down the 5, traffic halted. I brake-checked so hard I almost ruined my front spoiler. I was glad my brakes are both stylish and functional. I have 11-inch drilled and slotted rotors by FastBrakes. The company recently introduced its big-brake upgrade for the 2000 and newer Nissan Sentra SE, SE-R, Spec V, GX and GXE. The kit comes with four-piston calipers, rotors, aluminum adapter brackets, performance brake pads and front braided steel brake lines. The same kit will also work on 1989-'98 240 SXs. They cost $824.95 per pair, but they are a worthy investment. Cruise over to www.fastbrakes.com or call (602) 323-2110 for yours.
Strutting Around Town
I'm a model. You know what I mean? And I do my little turn on the catwalk. Yeah, on the catwalk. Sorry, bad '90s flashback. While Right Said Fred was definitely a one-hit wonder (maybe he was just too sexy for his time), Protocol is not. The company's new line of billet aluminum strut tower bars are hitting the streets and redefining cool. It's a direct bolt on, so installation is a breeze. They are available for many makes including: Honda, Acura, Toyota, Nissan, Mitsubishi and Subaru. The bars are also available in both front and rear models. You'll get a perfect fit because the struts are CAD designed and triple quality tested. Best of all, the struts are Adkins friendly with only 4 grams of net carbs. Okay, not really, but they are lightweight. The struts are backed by a limited-lifetime warranty. So strut your stuff over to www.protocol.com to grab yours.
Ready, Set, Race
The one thing I hate about NASCAR-okay there's a lot more than one, but the one I want to focus on-is how slow the pace car is. If you want to set the pace above 40 mph, you need to check out PaceSetter Performance Products at www.pacesetterexhaust.com. The company's new headers for the 1995-'99 turbocharged Mitsubishi Eclipse are designed to work with the stock turbo system. The headers use 1-5/8-inch diameter, 16-gague mandrel-bent steel tubing and CNC-machined flanges. You can sport yours in the standard black painted finish or the Armor Coat, a polished metallic-ceramic coating. It joins to the stock catalytic converter and includes all hardware, gaskets and instructions. It even comes with a three-year limited warranty. These headers provide cooler, smoother engine operation and increased performance. You'll be a smooth operator! Shell out $224.95, and they're all yours.
It's A Bird; It's A Plane; It's A Super Snatch.We puzzled over this product for a good 30 seconds before deciding we had no idea what is was, but we had to feature it. The product name alone, Safety Snatch, grabbed our attention. After a bout of laughter, we came up with our own ideas about what this product does:
1. It's a female condom. Hey, always be safe.
2. It's female stirrups. Just insert her feet through the rings.
3. It's a sex swing.
4. It's the S&M device they strung the gimp up with in Pulp Fiction.
5. It's female products for that time of the month.
6. It's a jump rope.
7. It's a belt for an obese person.
8. It's a funny picture that will make you giggle and think naughty thoughts.
9. According to the manufacturer, it's a snatch strap-I know it still makes melaugh, too-with anti-recoil safety straps on each end. These anti-recoil straps offer an extra layer of protection in case the mainstrap fails.
If you're looking to spice up your sex life, to go www.extremeoutback.com or call (866) 447-7711.